Eve Sophia

So I retired from my many years of office jobs as of September 30. I am a professional musician which you already know and now a Master Makeup Artist, enrolling in yet a couple of more MUA courses. Retiring doesn’t mean quitting. I will always work and now I can concentrate on what I really am! But there are interesting consequences. You miss the company of co-workers but don’t ever want to work in that kind of environment again. You are alone a lot but then there is still somewhat of a lockdown going on. But you are alone more because you are at home and not in an office environment. So what to do? Well I am taking MUA courses online for certificates and teaching private music lessons online. Connecting with other retired friends and sleeping more. Repairing a few things at home. Reinventing myself and looking out more for myself. Still looking for that one special relationship. Doing and eating healthy stuff. What surprises me is that I don’t miss my previous life and it’s only been 2 months. Guess it was time. And I also have time for rambling on my blog. Ha! Press on and become yet another version of yourself…a better one.

So here I am blogging. And I sit here wondering about not only my unmarried state but un-relationship state and how long it’s been. Several years. Certainly nothing I intended.

Online dating has kinda’ been a turnoff for me since I really don’t like the whole process and people don’t really present themselves very well online. But it seems to be where everyone is. I had also joined a FB therapy group run by a professional therapist/dating mentor for a while. She’s good! She mentors people into finding what she calls a “phenomenal-fit partner.” And they do! But here’s the clincher…the price is several thousands of dollars to work with her. And I can’t even say right now how much money I’ve spent on dating services, videos, webinars, workshops, etc. For me the pricetag was not realistic. So again, here I sit. Still a bit lost. I’ve tried to put her five basic strategies to work for myself. I just question why this particular part of one’s life is so hard to realize? Why do some people find “the one” early on and others struggle for years? We’re confident, educated, have careers, and definitely won’t “settle.” But how does one plug that ever-so-important hole in one’s life…the hole that is so very important throughout one’s entire life? Deep-seeded intimacy.

Not only am I a professional musician getting through this pandemic but also studying makeup artistry by taking online classes. Another passion of mine…art. I’m an Avon Independent Sales Representative and love that type of artistry as well. I guess I’m one of those intended to bring beauty into the world both through music and physical art. These two personas of mine do fulfill a wonderful part of me that I love expressing to the world. Maybe this is the link that will bring in the love of my life. If one is not happy with one’s work or life in general then I would expect another person would not be attracted to you intimately. They would be attracted to the love and beauty you spew forth. Maybe that’s what I’ve been missing? Having retired from my regular job has allowed me to let this part of me, the REAL me full of music and art, break forth into the forefront instead sitting on the back burner.

So stay tuned. Eternal optimism. Still looking forward to the love of my life. Hopefully the true me will bring him in.

So you are a professional musician and we are still in a measure of lockdown. If you are a performer only, your livelihood is on hold until ???? If you are like most of us and teach a modicum or a lot of students, you are probably doing okay but more than likely have lost students due to financial issues on their end…loss of jobs, etc. And we ALL are teaching online. O joy O rapture!

I’m tech savvy so teaching online wasn’t a huge leap for me but I did watch a 2-day webinar sponsored by MTNA about teaching online. Good points made and good advice given. Piano is easier online than voice. But we press on.

Will it ever get back to the way it was? No. Online teaching will be with us until the end. It has made a rather abrupt entrance into our lives and actually isn’t all that bad. I suspect teachers will eventually settle into a good mix of in-person and online teaching and that will work very well. Takes a little more legwork on both sides. I find myself doing more little recordings of new music and sending it to my students. It gives them that extra piece to listen to, something not included in a live lesson unless teacher plays/sings it, which is ok but can also be a bit intrusive in the lesson, although I’ve done it. But it does make the student take a bit more responsibility for their own actions…set your own practice schedule so you stick to it. Make sure you know where your music is. Mom can’t always drop everything to look for it.

So we gain more attention to the lesson details in spite of losing that in-person touch. Maybe that’s the payoff here? We teachers have to re-evaluate the way we communicate with the student and the student has to be more attentive on their end and make sure they understand what the teacher is asking of them…aka take more responsibility.

This too shall pass. But it will resurface with a new look. I hate the term “new normal.” We musicians re-invent ourselves all the time. So one more time won’t make a whole lot of difference. And now I’m trying to refine the process of finding new students online. Another learning curve. Well, 2020 has been that kind of year…curveballs all around. Ha!

Well, after a lifetime of working in offices to support me, all the while doing my actual vocational stuff as a professional musician after hours, I am finally retiring from the day job scenario to be a full-time musician. Funny how one has to retire in order to be a full-time artist. For most of us artists the puny money just doesn’t pay the mortgage.

This brings me to an article I read in the journal from one of the professional organizations I belong to, MTNA. The national president wrote a dynamite article as you just open the publication. It was like something jumped out and slapped me in the face! It was short and sweet and to the point…and he “brought it home.” The article is about understanding your worth as a musician/performer/teacher. To take a few points from the article, it talked about how we have to start music when we’re children (by the grace of God our parents saw this in us and took us to lessons), and we have to keep up our art well into adulthood. Thousands of hours and unknown amounts of money spent becoming a professional artist. Several college degrees. Then we have to keep up our skills through regular (eternal) practice and attending workshops when we can and of course, joining the professional organizations which help with holding conferences, local meetings, performance opportunities for our students, etc. The president equated us to some of the most highly trained individuals next to doctors and lawyers. Read that again! I have a dear friend who is a world-class organist who grew up on the organ bench and has been playing literally 60 years. He’s not retired either.

And this is what we artists bring to the table. This is the depth from which we teach you to play beginning piano, sing simple early music songs, etc. I know of a group of wind instrument players who have their degrees in music and are expert at their instruments but wanted to make enough money to live so they became lawyers and businessmen but yet, didn’t want to give up the music they worked so hard for…so they formed a local group that I’ve had the pleasure of hearing. Fabulous! And what a great idea!

So upon my retirement I am beefing up my own music studio and for the first time in my life, going to be all music! This is huge for me. I realized I know how to work for other people but not necessarily for myself. So a learning curve for me at retirement but it’s going to happen! And I’m going to make a more concerted effort to keep up my blog. Something else I haven’t had a lot of time to do.

So look for more of my wisdom in the near future. Tata for now!

In life we all must put up with people and situations we find ourselves in with each other. But I am totally fed up with drama queens, people who connive behind someone’s back, people who cause trouble for you in your job, and especially people who blind-side you. What is wrong with people that they can’t approach you and ask to have a conversation?

This is particularly true in one of my music jobs, choir director to be blunt. I’m faced with choir members hell-bent on having things the way they used to be, not embracing any type of change, who have engaged in backstabbing and sabotaging, who since I arrived 5 years ago, have been in my face more than less, and are still working behind my back to get their way and influence others in the church to their cause. Now to be fair, they treat the priest the same way and anyone else who gets in their way.

Of course, the obvious comes to mind…”who died and left you boss?” And over the past few years there have been numerous atrocities committed to achieve their goals of getting what they want or, sadly to say, just to sabotage our efforts because again, they didn’t get their way. Yes, these are adults we’re talking about and they have families and children. Interesting isn’t it.

I have some rules for myself starting right now! I am a professional musician so that is my area of expertise, voice especially. I have been in administration my whole work life as well so I have expertise in that area. I’ve been officially working for 45 years, maybe more. So. Please respect me or we’re through. Do NOT try to sabotage my efforts or connive behind my back for your warped cause, or especially, blind-side me to confuse me and make a damn fool of me because YOU have issues. Any issues or drama you bring to the table are yours, not mine. Keep them. Eat them. Whatever your fancy. But leave me out of your issues. People I know and love and have good relationships with don’t treat me like that and neither do I. We talk and respect each other and know we aren’t going to get our way every time. In short, we’re adults. If you would like to be like us, please take this advice and grow up. Easy, isn’t it?

So that is my short and sweet rant. I feel better already.

Yes, this is an article about people. And it comes on the heels of the newly installed republican President Trump, and some of his Executive Orders. Apart from the fact that previous presidents signed numerous executive orders shortly after their inauguration, the democrats, aka “those who lost the election,” are panicking and running around like Chicken Little…”the sky is falling, the sky is falling!” And now, with his temporary, yes temporary, ban on people from certain countries entering the US, temporary meaning 90 days, the uproar is worse. This is not only what I personally never expected from the dems/libs but it’s also highly hypocritical. They complained enormously when Trump said he “may not accept the results of the election if he loses.” Yet now, the opposite is true and quite troubling. Plus I have had the misfortune of being drawn into arguments on facebook where I’ve been insulted and at one point, unfriending a long-time friend. I felt bad about that but he started insulting me, which made me feel worse. I won’t be insulted for my opinions. Everyone has a right to their opinions and voice them but this has become a real problem since it’s such a heated situation.

Our country was going and going in one direction for a number of years, what many including myself felt was toward socialism and the death of our American values. Other countries, especially those that mean to do us harm (Iran, etc.) have lost respect for us if they ever had respect for us in the first place, there is an increasing threat from radical Islamic jihadists who would do us major harm, and people are tired of this. Plus the previous president, Obama, ran our national debt to an horrific trillions of dollars. Needless to say, if you are a born and bred “Yankee” you are deeply concerned about our wonderful America.

So people take a right turn and elect a president that is not going in the same direction that we have been going. He reverses the trend. He wants to reclaim the America we all know and love. I have read oh so many times that if you want something different in your life you have to do something different. So. This is what our new president is doing. And those that were not in favor of him are now hollering and screaming and panicking and insulting people and running around acting like fools over a “perceived” injustice that frankly hasn’t happened yet. Folks, nothing has happened yet. Some people legally in the US have been initially detained at a couple of airports but that should be cleared up as this executive order is clarified and put into action properly. And again, it’s a temporary situation.

What therapists say about situations like this is that the necessary change has been made. But those that don’t want to accept it act in ways, threatening as well, that say “change back.” This is what is happening right now in our country. People are so afraid…afraid that they may have to change in order to have an ultimately better life. Many people of course just have another agenda that is detrimental to our country. Premature protests have taken place again, toward a perceived injustice. Yet many of the people protesting don’t have a clue why. And many of the operatives organizing the marches are being financed to do so. What is the agenda for that? Intentional hell-raising which leads to intentional havoc? In short, our we being really honest about what we want? Or are we just trying to cause trouble because we disagree with some initial procedures.

Change in our country’s direction is necessary right now. And as I’ve said many times in the past, the Spirit has moved. It’s all over but the kicking and screaming. Amen to that!

So today, Sunday, I had to cancel choir because of a 14-inch snowfall Saturday, the day before. I hated doing it but face it, if you can’t dig yourself out in time to get to Church then you can’t dig yourself out in time to get to Church. If the snow had ended about 3 hours earlier on Saturday, I could have prepared the car in the evening. This previous sentence is a useless thought. Although the congregation might have missed the choir singing their usual, beautifully, the weather cares not.

This brings me to the subject of cancelling a day of activities. The focus is shifted to the very basic digging of one’s car out of a snowpile in order to drive to the corner to get coffee, and give the plow a chance to clear the snow so one can park when one comes back with that coffee. When this type of situation occurs, which can actually happen a few times during one winter, you find yourself with a cancelled routine and have to fill that day with new stuff, sort of ad lib.

It also brings to mind people, namely, the neighbors. My friend and her husband were digging out their SUV when I arrived on the scene to start the process with my car, and they immediately followed me to help shovel the 3 ft of snow behind my car so I could get out and the plow could finish the job. It’s like that in these situations. People help each other because we all could use a hand. People make light of the situation and at some point, the drudgery of yet another pile of snow to shovel becomes a funny, neighborly “we’re all in the same boat” event. That’s so nice. And then we go on to others who are looking to clear their cars and parking spaces, and so on and so forth, all the while smiling and offering what help we can. The snow situation becomes somehow therapeutic.

Now you’re done and inside with that cup of coffee, and you have this day you just cancelled, which means you have this time to fill. Hmmm…all day TV? Boring. Facebook is only so interesting for only so long. Writing a blog as I am doing? Better. Time to clear some clutter out of the house? Now we’re talking. We find time for ourselves to clear our minds, even if it’s in the form of old newspapers or filing Christmas concert music (me being a musician). We end up doing for ourselves. And it’s the impromptu creative process not the daily routine that makes this task fulfilling. Even if we don’t finish everything. Again, this snow situation becomes therapeutic.

I have become so full of jobs and routines in my life that I find myself and my mind going faster than a speeding bullet! When something happens, like weather, I have found myself in the past thinking “oh no, my routine is upset and I will be behind or worse yet, have to cancel something.” The panic sets in and we are just so upset at that snow we can’t control or whatever the case may be. God forbid we have time on our hands! Lately though, I have started to just accept the setback, if it even IS a setback, and deal with it, and try to use that now freed up time to do something for me, even if it IS watching boring TV and relaxing. This has made me a happier person. I think it makes all of us happier people. Again, these “situations” have become therapeutic.

So what’s the moral of this blog story? Me (you). We fill our lives with stuff…necessary stuff indeed! But we do have to carve out some time for ourselves in order to fill ourselves internally, and make ourselves feel full which makes us feel accomplished. We need to clear our thoughts, clutter, feelings that we have to do the same routine or else…nothing can ever change. We need to be excited inwardly…blissful…that we have stolen some time for ourselves and can now do exactly what we want for us, even if the snow and terrible roads do have something to do with it. ha! The weather situation, in this case snow, has truly become therapeutic. Who knew?

Yes, like everyone else, I too have seen the “Walmart people” photos of people badly dressed. Recently I’ve seen a slide show of the very popular leggings that women wear, out of control. And then there are the yoga pants, not to mention the tons of flip-flops flapping against endless feet, both female and male. I also recently bought a new vacuum cleaner online from Walmart instead of driving to the store a couple of blocks from me because I couldn’t face what I know I would see. OMG!

I understand the concept of wanting to be comfortable. Unless you work for a downtown attorney, some CEO or the government, the tailored suit, hose and heels (for women) are not necessarily part of your workday attire anymore. It’s more like “nice casual.” That’s fine. But why do we wear exercise clothes or “reconfigure” a part of fashion meant to be worn in another manner…all of which pretty much turns out badly! I read once that Europeans can always tell Americans because we always wear sneakers. I personally don’t like sneakers and wear my over-the-top comfortable Clarke’s walking shoes. Just sooooo comfy!

Have we gotten so relaxed in our lives that we no longer care how we look? You don’t have to wash your hair on my account but at least put a comb through it. And please do invest in a full sized mirror…and use it! Turn around and check your backside before you leave the house. Are you ok with it or did you just gasp in horror? Yoga pants are for…Yoga. Leggings were put on the fashion market to be worn underneath a very long shirt or a short skirt, both of which end about mid-thigh; then the leggings take over. They were never to be worn on their own. I know wearing hose is probably old-fashioned, although I know countless women who still do (including me). Yes, one can say it’s hot in summer but there are very light-weight summer hose that feel like you’re hardly wearing any hose at all which still gives your legs a polished look, as opposed to the bare legs look…something I can’t stand. And wearing clothes that don’t fit or are so short that we see other areas of the body trying to escape…that’s just not caring how you look. Do we not respect ourselves anymore? Do we no longer have pride in our appearance?

Weren’t we taught to cover our mouths when we yawn? And brush our teeth after we get up in the morning? How about picking up our feet when we walk? I was at the San Francisco Airport in July returning home from my nephew’s wedding, when I noticed a young woman on the phone walking around and wearing flip-flops which made their signature snapping noise as they flapped against her feet. From what I observed, she seemed to wear all of this like a badge. I was at Walgreens the other day and some teenager was walking around in her big furry house slippers and dragging her feet to the point where I scowled at her feet! I have to admit, I do hair and makeup daily. Not stage hair and makeup but regular attention to my hair and everyday makeup to add some polish to my looks before I leave the house. Yes, I’m a professional person but I also look at this activity as basic grooming. Add fragrance to that as well.

Something else that has bothered me for years is seeing women with perfectly polished finger and toe nails. Obviously from the salon. But, NO makeup and wet hair. Now, what happened here? The first thing people look at when they meet you is your face/eyes, not your toenails! What does it matter to have all 20 nails done to perfection if you look like you just got out of bed!

And I do see people both adult and kids, wearing the worst clothes in the name of comfort. Not only do they wear their leisure pants that they probably sleep in but they also wear jeans and shirts that look like they dug them out of a ditch or from under a train. Seriously? Are we in a competition to see how badly we can dress and make ourselves look, and then present ourselves to society all the while hoping people will faun over us instead of vomit? Did pride in how we look, even when relaxing, take a train to nowhere? We look disgusting folks! We stink!

What makes me laugh is how you read about what big business the beauty industry is. That’s hair, makeup, skincare, etc. for anyone reading this blog that doesn’t have a clue. But to see humanity when you leave the house, you’d think the beauty business would be in deep trouble…bankruptcy even.

I know I can’t change the world. And people’s appearances will still disgust me on a regular basis. Call it what you will but I will still continue to make the effort. One thing it does for me, it makes me feel “finished” in the morning and ready to meet the day. It even makes me want to make the effort in other areas of my life. Yes, one “effort” does lead us to make others. So that’s where I am folks. And I think I look pretty good where I am. How about you? Are you happy with how you look when you leave the house? Better yet, do you care? Something to think about.