Why Music

Anyone who goes into music, or any creative art for that matter, where you are your own business…personal achievement careers as I call them, knows pretty much before they finish their training that their chosen profession will not pay the mortgage. Some perhaps but many…no. So why music or your chosen profession?

Well, I’ve always said we all have been given a gift. It’s instilled in us from birth. We absolutely must use this gift…follow our heart. If we don’t, I honestly believe we are baseline unhappy in this life. We choose jobs that are ok but we would really love to so something else…follow our heart. I did. I was a bit naive too but it did hit home at some point. I was a bit saddened but I still built a “business” for myself and became a seasoned expert at my art. I also learned a ton of office and computer skills whilst being a musician. In fact, those skills come in very handy when promoting yourself and networking with other musicians etc. At least I didn’t have to do waitressing like a lot of people do who don’t have other skills. A carillonneur I knew, who was the chief carillonneur of his well-known Church, was a computer software engineer. Hahahahaha! Ahhhh yes…we do what we have to do to stay afloat and still perform our heart’s desire,

Perhaps the title of this blog should be “why follow our dreams?” There are many dreams out there that people possess. And yes, I know it’s not always possible to do it for at least a partial living. My Dad (read about him in one of my previous blogs), had to work as a private delivery man and did part-time plastering to support our family, and after hours played clarinet like a seasoned pro! He always wanted to be a clarinet soloist. Well. He still learned to play it expertly and taught me to read music at age 4. So yes, there are real reasons seasoned musicians have to do other jobs. People do need to support families and pay for a house and, you know, eat etc.

As I grow older I do more and more appreciate the effort I put into becoming a professional musician even though I am not world-famous. I am happy with my decision. And yes, I’m still a “poor musician” but I am a happy one. And I have other talents I’ve entertained as well. Being creative I have 3 certificates in Makeup Artistry, I am a pretty much skilled artist, and I am now working on freelance digital marketing to help others get ahead and still help my own talents get ahead.

So this music thing I do led me to take on other “like” projects. I am proud of myself and that I have abilities that my music fortitude led me to apply to these other areas. They all feed each other.

So again, why music? Well, why not your talents as well? If you haven’t explored your talents in a serious way, now is the time. I’m telling you this is definitely the time. Don’t wait any longer. And you will also see where else in life it leads you.

Why Music? That’s me. That’s why!

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Why We Hurt Others

I was talking with a friend today. She’s in the middle of a divorce that’s been dragging on for months. She and he are in different states.

The gyst of the conversation was about the hatefulness coming from his side. I know them both. Haven’t seen him in several years. But when I knew them they were both very in love and such nice, caring people. She still is. But I cannot fathom the change in him. What in the world happened?

And why do we end up hurting people we loved so much? What makes us want to hurt people? I personally don’t want to hurt people even if they are the bane of my existence. I just want them to go away so my life is free of the drama or whatever is happening with this person.

People suffer through these long and arduous ordeals just to make their lives happier and more peaceful. And most people are not bad people. It’s mind-boggling as to why these situations can turn so ugly. What changes in us to make us so lethal? Is hate the exact opposite of love? So if you’re so much in love, should something happen, then the hateful vitriol surfaces very often to the utter surprise of everyone you know?

I feel awful for my friend. Situations like these that go on for months almost destroy us. It’s so sad to see someone you’ve known for a number of years, as a really good person, go through this mess that the person doesn’t deserve in the first place.

As a professional musician I have seen similar situations in the artistic world. Many people don’t celebrate someone else’s talent. They hate them for being what they consider better than them, whether or not it’s true.

Human nature. There are many lessons involved in being human. I find myself digging deep to help encourage my friend to not get down to rock-bottom. It’s very easy to slide and keep going. She’s strong though. We have to be. Very often life sucks. We have our gut-awful moments and the people we are close to help us survive, and then we do the same when one of them is in a similar situation.

Having faith is of the essence as well. I have lived alone my entire adult life. My family and friends are great but I’m still on the lookout for my one true love…I’ve written about that many times. Learn to survive amidst all odds very often, and you become strong. You don’t think you’re strong but you are. It’s exhausting but you get there. And having faith (as in your Church) helps more than you think. I’ve always credited my survivor attitude to my faith. It gives you hope. All is not lost no matter what. There’s always hope and a new beginning. Moving forward through the mess into a clearer sense of order and yes, happiness.

But as for why people hurt people, I sincerely have no answers. None. We just do. It’s awful to watch. More awful even than going through it yourself. But we press on.

Maybe someone else has an answer to this?

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How Strong Are You

Yup! That’s the question for today. How strong are you? Think back throughout your life. I’ll start. I know…if you get bored eat some cake. Ha!

I had a hysterectomy at age 38. Three years later at age 41 I had brain/head surgery. I am otherwise healthy. I moved from Chicago to Boston when I was 48.

I am a professional musician so I’ve been making music in both places. I have both Bachelor’s and Master’s Degrees in Music Performance and Teaching. Since music doesn’t pay the mortgage I’ve worked up skills in office management. I’ve also become a Makeup Artist. And I am currently taking a Free-Lance Marketing Course.

Besides being an opera singer, I am a pianist and modest organist. I learned that along the way too. I do a lot of things not for the faint of heart. I’ve also been teaching private music for 38 years. And I am determined to finish what I start.

I retired from office work etc. in 2020 to focus only on music. Because of the Covid issues we lost our music studio. Along the way my best friend of 39 years/music bud died…2022. Life changed big time.

A year later in 2023 I had emergency back/spinal surgery. I am almost 100% recovered…still some things like an achy back here and there etc. But moving forward.

Now in present times the economy stinks so bad I had to go back to running a Church office part time for a bit…don’t know how long. My Church so I’m ok with it.

And let’s not forget the numerous failed romances I’ve endured over the years. The last one, 18 years ago, we were together for 3 years…thought we would marry…he left. I’ve all but given up but something…maybe the Spirit…won’t let me. So I keep open to this one thing I so dearly want. So I’ve been by myself for my entire adult life…I DO have a great family and bunch of friends but my intimate life has been single.

Now. I’m sure many of you have had worse times than this. Maybe many have not. But gosh darn we’ve all got some real stuff in our lives. And what happened to us? We’re still here aren’t we? Yes, we survive. We reinvent ourselves and keep going. You have to. What other choice is there? Crawling under a rock is NOT a choice folks. Oy vey!

So here I sit. I have survived a few things in my life. Ha! And how is your list going? Don’t be afraid to make one. Don’t be afraid to look back into your life over the years. It’s what builds our character. We have a new chapter in our lives every few years. Embrace that. I’ve had a few. Usually by surprise. Ha!

Life is a ride! Now it’s 2025. It’s another year and another start. Even if you have no plans to completely shift your life around try to feel a new-ness in what you are doing. And do something unique for yourself to sort of renew yourself. Something different. You can find something if you search hard enough I’m sure. I always seem to. Very often by surprise like I said.

So Happy New Year again! We’re all survivors and looking for more stuff to survive. I’m looking for a happier bunch of stuff to survive as opposed to back surgery and radiation. Ha! I’ll bet right now that my new stuff will be happier!

Here’s to us survivors…and remember…eat cake (with ice cream or whipped cream). Ha!

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Happy New Year 2025!

Again, back in the saddle from a month off…trying to keep life in order and stay healthy as well. So…Happy New Year everyone!

I hope everyone had a good Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s. All the end-of-year holidays. I did. Quiet but introspective and restful. Good food. Family, friends. Good stuff all around. Thoughtful. Getting well and really doing well after spinal surgery in September of 2023. Also in a better mindset.

Lots to think about as we enter a new year. I “journal” every year. Summarize the previous year and declare intentions for the new year. Health is on top of course. Being productive, happy, caring, loving. And praying for continued abundance, family, friends, my Church, and my lifelong loving partner…still waiting and praying. But most important, self-love and happiness. We’re nothing if we cannot love and celebrate ourselves. That’s what moves us forward. Motivates us.

Also this new month of January brings another round of tests since my surgery, and another visit with my two wonderful doctors at Brighams. Another year of that and I’m done. Praying nothing more is found but I do feel positive and healthy so I’m quite hopeful everything is fine.

And of course, what is in my life forever is my music and love of art/makeup artist. My creative self. My spirituality. That’s my stuff. We all have our stuff. It’s important that we engage fully in our stuff. That’s who we are. You know that. You have your stuff that you do whether it’s a profession or a serious hobby. You’ve got your stuff. Period! Ha!

None of us know the future. We don’t know what to expect in a new year. I guess the only thing we can do and trust fully is to move forward being exactly who we are. No imposters. Be YOU! The right things will happen to you if you are your genuine self. I plan to do just that.

So again, Happy New Year to you all. We’ve got this! Here’s to a wonderful year. And don’t forget to eat cake. Yes. There always has to be cake involved…with some ice cream too. Yay!!!!

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Music as Life

Thought I would write about music again. My life has been turned upside down once again. Just as I’m humming along my Church calls me to come and run the office, something I had done for 22 years. Issues with the former admin assistant. Music doesn’t usually pay the mortgage so one has to have other jobs especially when benefits are involved. It’s just easier. Anyway, I am now working that job 22 hours per week, making music, and trying to figure out more marketing for myself and even other small businesses if possible.

Being a musician is a life-long pursuit. It chooses you as much as you choose it. You cannot hide from it. In fact, a person cannot hide from their gift in life no matter what field they are in. If you are blessed with a special gift, you must pursue it or be kinda miserable throughout life. I’ve always felt like that.

My Church is Greek Orthodox. The music is Byzantine, which is actually where music started…in the Church. There was no western style notation, no scales, no time signatures, no key signatures. The beginnings of music were very archaic. It was a system of modes…8 modes. The notation always reminded me of short-hand…the age-old system of executive assistants/secretaries taking dictation from their bosses quickly. Neumes with little designs over them. The Chanters, the main Church singers at the time, read those neumes and improvised ornamentation according to how they interpreted the neumes and other markings. They still do it today in the Orthodox Churches. Quite the challenge. So music was more difficult to create in antiquity.

Fast forward to current times, music itself is not difficult to read. It’s a system. It’s also math-involved. It’s very common-sense. What takes time and work is the learning of the instrument you are using including voice. Learning music from different eras…the style. Learning music history. Learning to be a musical artist. Learning to put yourself into your creative art…just like a painter. It’s a lifetime of executing and learning and polishing and becoming more of an expert. You become seasoned. You become your art. Takes a lifetime but it does happen.

And there are no shortcuts. None. There are no shortcuts to becoming a seasoned expert in any field. No instant gratification. There are plenty of “wannabes” though who want to attain the level of expert without putting in the work. Music is full of that. Fortunately they do fall by the wayside soon enough. “Wannabes” can’t keep up with seasoned professionals in any field. Doesn’t take long to figure that out either.

One thing I love about being a musician is the deep-seeded appreciation for other musicians creating their own music so expertly. Listening to other instruments being played so amazingly, and the beautiful sounds of other instruments is truly a joy to behold. Captivating. And listening to world-renowned artists performing amazing musical feats…breathtaking. It comes from knowing the work involved in mastering your own musical craft. You know the drill and are stunned by how some very talented people on this Earth make music happen so incredibly.

Being a musician is a crazy thing. We’re all nuts. But it is something I would never trade in for a billion dollar career in something else. It’s me. For the Love of Art.

And you? What defines you? Where does your heart lie? Feel free to comment.

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Back in the Saddle

Here I am again. I didn’t blog at all in September. Hope you missed me! I have to say it got away from me for a bit. And I am making some changes to take care of me going forward.

First of all September was back/spinal surgery anniversary month. And it was also quarterly test and doctor month. Yippee! MRI, CT Scan and the 2 doctors. Good thing everyone who administers the tests and the 2 doctors themselves are very nice people and so very professional. Everything is stable and the doctors are pleased. So…wash, rinse, repeat in January 2025. For another year. They’re following me for 2 years.

Now that that’s out of the way I can continue rebuilding my personal and financial life which suffered a lot during the past 3 years. This includes packing more music students into my life and starting a small freelance marketing business to sustain regular income for the long haul. Something I can do from a hospital bed if necessary…not that I’m planning to be in the hospital ever again. And with the price of absolutely everything going sky-high one needs to have extra income especially now in retirement.

I would also like to find that one man who would love me the rest of our lives and get married. Have the life I want with my music and little business I can do on my schedule. Aka…rebuilding my life hopefully for the last time in this life. How many times do I have to do that?

I rebuilt when I had brain surgery. I rebuilt when I moved from Chicago to Boston. I’m rebuilding after this back/spinal surgery. Enough already!!!! How many of you have had to rebuild your lives multiple times?

Unfortunately big surgeries do affect your life even if you recover nicely. This recovery is longer and a bit different but it’s humming along. You also think a bit differently about your life. You become more guarded about your health. You also don’t take any BS from anyone anymore. You become very clear about what you want your life to be. You have to stand on your hind legs and get yourself well. Period! Become YOU again. No whining or long-term complaining. Even though I do sometimes. Hehe.

Well. Now that I’m back blogging I’m exhausted after writing this. Hahaha! However now it’s time to invent some new undertaking. I admit I get antsy even though I’d like to sit and relax very often. Btw…you are always welcome to comment. It would be nice to hear from visitors. Be kind of course. Ha!

And stay tuned for my next project. I’m working on that now. Cheers!

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All About Mom

This time I’ll write about Mom. The 30th anniversary of her death is Sept. 1.

I’m named after Mom. She had a good singing voice and was in the Church choir before she had us kids. Mom was great. She would always listen to us. She and her 3 sisters, our aunts, listened and gave good advice. A lot of young people don’t want any advice from parents or aunts and uncles but mine gave such common-sense advice I took it from all of them. They all made sense.

Mom loved me being an opera singer. And when things were tough and I would whine, she’d listen for all of 4 1/2 minutes then say something like, “Well are you going to just whine about it or fix it?” Whoaaa…yes Mom! I’m on it! Haha! But she also had that calm, reassuring voice that just hit the right spot when she called me or I called her.

Mom was very appropriate. We kids needed to take care of our things, needed to help around the house, be polite, not dress like crap…care how we look, be respectful of others etc. Don’t argue in public or make fun of family members. Nobody’s business what happens in your house. But most people were like that years ago.

When Dad died she got depressed. I’m sure of it. The grandkids perked her up so very much. She would babysit for my brother and sister-in-law’s little ones. She had a way with kids anyway. Knew how to communicate with them, goof off with them, make them feel special. Those kids were lucky they had such a wonderful Busia (boo-sha…Polish for Grandma).

When she died, which was suspiciously 2 months before what would have been her and Dad’s 50th wedding anniversary (hmmm…did she plan that?), we kids started the task of cleaning out the house. That is when you really find out who your parents were, as I stated when writing about my Dad.

Mom loved flowers. She would spend hours in the garden. Our back yard was very beautiful. Seriously! I didn’t know she belonged to a garden club either until mail came for her, seeds, the day after she died. She had all kinds of flower doo-dads. In fact, we buried her in a flowered dress. And, her casket had flowers around the handles with a stitched flower inside the cover. Made for Mom.

Mom took care of us until the end as well. I always joke about the birthday gift she gave me and my sister one year. She bought us graves. Yes, graves. So we are all set!

I think about Mom especially now after this last (hopefully) surgery. She took care of me every day when I had the brain surgery 33 years ago. I think she is still taking care of me after this one too. Sometimes you just know.

What else can I say? It pays to have parents who deeply care about their kids. No one is perfect and things don’t always happen as one would want but the upshot is that the kids do remember the important moments/feelings with their parents. The deep love and caring. It makes us better humans. It makes us able to care for our own kids and others. It’s that deep connection that matters more than anything else.

So. Think about your own upbringing and parents. Where does that take you?

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Music in Today’s World

One of my voice students was leaving after her lesson recently, and her Dad looked at the piano in the lesson room and said that theirs was a similar brand. I told him I had a Chickering from years ago. A fine piano indeed. He also said it’s hard to sell a basic piano these days. Nobody is buying. Unless it’s a grand piano which of course are not cheap. Everyone seems to want a digital keyboard with the weighted keys, which mimic the weight of piano keys.

This made me think. Everyone wants the least possible intrusion into their lives in this day and age. A keyboard which does have weighted keys is similar to a piano in that sense but it’s not a piano. The feel and action of the keys is still a bit different. And the price can even be more than a simple spinet piano. Plus a digital keyboard is not necessarily that much smaller than a small spinet piano. Granted a piano needs to be tuned at least once a year but then again, nothing electronic can go wrong with it. And a piano is a very nice piece of furniture.

The director/owner of the studio where I teach this young lady told me a few weeks ago that their aren’t a lot of inquiries into private lessons lately. More people are looking into class piano, which is about 4-6 students in the room learning as a group. It’s a less intensive approach to learning the instrument than a one-on-one lesson with the teacher. Cheaper as well.

I also watched a webinar with a teacher from one of the professional music organizations I belong to. It was about digital products in the online teaching studio. She has 100 students. I almost fainted! I wondered how she could manage that many per week. However in the webinar she mentioned she has an online studio only, and it’s only group piano. No wonder she can manage that group of students. She also showed us her online platform where students can ask questions etc, but she can also tap into how they are practicing at home. Hmmm I thought.

How we teach music has changed in this day and age. A lot of it came from the Covid pandemic. Everything was closed. Teaching in general went online. Church services went online. Things we never thought could be handled online went online. All of a sudden everything was online. I was immersed in Makeup Artist courses at that time and…all of that was online as well. Haha! Had to use my neighbors to practice all kinds of different makeup applications. Haha!

I personally like one-on-one teaching especially for voice. But it’s nice to know that we can do this online if we need to, perhaps in lousy weather, tons of snowfall making travel difficult, mild illness when the student or teacher is able to perform but doesn’t feel comfortable in-person until they’re 100% well. There are circumstances in which it comes in handy. One of the downfalls I have seen unfortunately, is that progress can be slower when a lot is done online. Unless the student takes full responsibility for their practice time between lessons…is organized and keeps to a schedule. I did have a young adult student like that during the pandemic and it worked great.

A number of attitudes have changed in the area of teaching especially private tutoring in the past few years and since the Covid pandemic. I have been teaching 37 years. I have seen a lot of stuff…period. I admire and support new ways of thinking and of getting around tough situations which we had no answer for years ago…like teaching lessons in snow storms etc. Wouldn’t happen. Now we have a Plan B! I still prefer the in-person approach since there really is no comparison regarding the learning.

I just hope that people in these current times don’t start cutting more corners expecting to achieve the same expertise as “the old successful way” in previous years, in whatever they are pursuing. Learning instruments is one of those situations where in-person learning will always take the lead over online. That’s my vote for sure…but I am glad we have an alternative just in case.

Thoughts anyone?

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Who We Are

I’ve written about my Dad before. Well August 10 would have been his 114th Birthday. Ha! I can assure you he wouldn’t have been happy living that long. But it makes you think about what kind of people your parents were.

Dad was very gifted and creative. He was an excellent artist. He worked in water colors. The only difference between his art and the object he was painting was the medium…his paintings were water color…but other than that, spot on!

As a musician, he played clarinet. He always wanted to be a clarinet soloist. He had taken only the few free lessons at the store when he bought the clarinet. Never studied with a private teacher other than that. Yet he played like any pro you would hear on the radio classical station. Not to mention polka bands. Yeow!

Dad never finished 8th grade. He had to start working to help out at home…parents being Polish immigrants. Yet when looking through his things with Mom after he died, I ran across a certificate that said he was ready to go to college. Hah! I was floored! He had a book collection called “The Practical Man.” And it was a correspondence course. Algebra for the Practical Man, Trigonometry for the Practical Man, etc. I always used to joke about Practical Oceanography for the Practical Man. Hahahahaha! But I finally got the point as to what that collection of books was for. Dad was educating himself! Excuse me while I faint. This level of personal achievement is hard-pressed to find in this day and age.

And then…he was a good plasterer. That means using plaster to build walls and stuff years ago. He would do that as a side job besides his delivery job for a private company. And…he built furniture. It was from kits but the furniture was quite good stuff. I have a small “secretary” he built years ago. Love it! And he built 4 Grandfather Clocks from kits…one for him and Mom, and one for each of his 3 kids.

Dad was in the Marines for 8 years. His 4-year term was up right before WWII started. But like most men in that day and age he wanted to go fight for our country. So he re-enlisted. They couldn’t send him overseas because he had “swimmers ear” in his left ear and couldn’t hear well enough for war deployment. So he became a drill sergeant. He was always a Marine whether currently enlisted or not. I swear I was the only 4 year-old on our block who could fold the Flag. Haha!

Dad wanted at least one of us kids to be a musician. That ended up being me. When I was about 4 he would come around with real music…probably clarinet music…when I was playing outside and ask “do you want to learn this?” Of course it’s your Dad…you say “uhuh!” So he would read me the lines and spaces. I don’t know how many times he did that but a number of years later, when we got our piano, I sat down and looked at real music again and thought “I know how to read this. And I guess you find it on the piano and hit that key.” Of course I needed the piano teacher to make that more cohesive but…I learned to read music early on. Kids’ brains sop of everything when they’re that young.

And…Dad always cared about how he looked. Hair, hands, if going casual then nice casual very often with a suitcoat. He wanted us kids to look good. Our parents in general wanted us kids to look good even if going to a family picnic. Not “roll outta bed” slobs like one sees a lot of in this day and age. Care how you look…how you present yourself to the world…even as a kid.

So. Next time I’ll write about my Mom. Sometimes you don’t really know who your loved ones are until they die, unfortunately. Years ago that was more true than current times. But what an adventure seeing what made your parents tick. What they dearly loved to do. Makes me feel even more strongly about doing what I dearly love my entire life.

What about you? When was the last time you dug deep? Don’t avoid it. Who are you really? Take that journey. You might even start with who your parents are and see what they passed on to you. Trust me…it’s definitely worth the trip.

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What Am I Curious About

There was a prompt on my blog site…”What are you curious about?” So…that’s my article today.

What am I curious about? 1) Why on this planet do people walk down the street fixated on their cell phones? They cross the street like that too. They practically walk into you and don’t say “excuse me.” They are carrying a $1,000+ little machine in their hands and somebody could just grab it and run. They also talk on it at the grocery store which is maddening!

2) Why don’t people care more about the way they present themselves in this day and age? Why is absolutely everything so casual? And not nice casual…the next step after bed clothes. In fact some people wear their pajama bottoms outside. Like we don’t know what that is. How many times have I seen women with their finger and toenails done to perfection and yet with wet hair and no makeup. People usually talk to your face and not your hands or feet.

3) Why do drivers race to pass you up then get back into your lane in front of you only to go in the same direction as you…like get on the highway, make a turn on the next street…stuff you were doing all along. They only save about 2 minutes if that. Could possibly cause an accident too. Why did they have to get there before you?

4) Why do people immediately follow a new style some fashion guru invents even if the fashion guru isn’t famous? Why would someone wear ripped jeans? They make one look well…awful. Those leggings that conform to every last part of one’s body…are people comfortable in that? Do you want all of you to be on display to everyone?

5) Why do people wear so little on the beach? Thongs. Bikinis that look more like rubber bands. You might have a supermodel figure but do you really think we want to see that much of you? We see our own bodies daily. Isn’t that enough for most people? Do I have to see that much of you? Seriously?

6) Why have wedding dresses become so revealing? And still white? I play weddings at my Church. The color white is supposed to be for purity…aka a virgin. That’s hardly the case anymore. So why not pick another color? The white isn’t appropriate much anymore. Just because designers are making wedding dresses into something from “sex and the city” doesn’t mean it’s right or appropriate.

7) Why do people just follow news or anything really that doesn’t make sense? Are you that gullible? Can’t do some research yourself or critical thinking? Following the crowd isn’t always the best idea.

8) Why do people just throw garbage when they’re done using something. Cigarette butts, empty coffee cups, candy wrappers, etc. Can’t take it home with you and toss it in the real garbage if there isn’t an outside garbage receptacle nearby? It’s not hard to do.

I think that’s enough of a list for now. I’m sure I could come up with more especially once I post this article. Ha!

Have you wondered about stuff? Curious? Just go for a drive or sit in the car dealer’s waiting room when your car is in for service. Get on your phone of course (not whilst driving)…hahaha! Then spy. See what people are doing or what they look like. And most of the time you don’t have to spy intentionally. It’s just there. You realize you don’t understand why people do stuff.

I wonder what people think about me? I admit I can be an odd duck. Do you wonder what people think about you and what you’re doing or wearing? Hahaha! Now I’m curious about that! Ha!

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