I was talking with a friend today. She’s in the middle of a divorce that’s been dragging on for months. She and he are in different states.

The gyst of the conversation was about the hatefulness coming from his side. I know them both. Haven’t seen him in several years. But when I knew them they were both very in love and such nice, caring people. She still is. But I cannot fathom the change in him. What in the world happened?

And why do we end up hurting people we loved so much? What makes us want to hurt people? I personally don’t want to hurt people even if they are the bane of my existence. I just want them to go away so my life is free of the drama or whatever is happening with this person.

People suffer through these long and arduous ordeals just to make their lives happier and more peaceful. And most people are not bad people. It’s mind-boggling as to why these situations can turn so ugly. What changes in us to make us so lethal? Is hate the exact opposite of love? So if you’re so much in love, should something happen, then the hateful vitriol surfaces very often to the utter surprise of everyone you know?

I feel awful for my friend. Situations like these that go on for months almost destroy us. It’s so sad to see someone you’ve known for a number of years, as a really good person, go through this mess that the person doesn’t deserve in the first place.

As a professional musician I have seen similar situations in the artistic world. Many people don’t celebrate someone else’s talent. They hate them for being what they consider better than them, whether or not it’s true.

Human nature. There are many lessons involved in being human. I find myself digging deep to help encourage my friend to not get down to rock-bottom. It’s very easy to slide and keep going. She’s strong though. We have to be. Very often life sucks. We have our gut-awful moments and the people we are close to help us survive, and then we do the same when one of them is in a similar situation.

Having faith is of the essence as well. I have lived alone my entire adult life. My family and friends are great but I’m still on the lookout for my one true love…I’ve written about that many times. Learn to survive amidst all odds very often, and you become strong. You don’t think you’re strong but you are. It’s exhausting but you get there. And having faith (as in your Church) helps more than you think. I’ve always credited my survivor attitude to my faith. It gives you hope. All is not lost no matter what. There’s always hope and a new beginning. Moving forward through the mess into a clearer sense of order and yes, happiness.

But as for why people hurt people, I sincerely have no answers. None. We just do. It’s awful to watch. More awful even than going through it yourself. But we press on.

Maybe someone else has an answer to this?

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