This time I’ll write about Mom. The 30th anniversary of her death is Sept. 1.

I’m named after Mom. She had a good singing voice and was in the Church choir before she had us kids. Mom was great. She would always listen to us. She and her 3 sisters, our aunts, listened and gave good advice. A lot of young people don’t want any advice from parents or aunts and uncles but mine gave such common-sense advice I took it from all of them. They all made sense.

Mom loved me being an opera singer. And when things were tough and I would whine, she’d listen for all of 4 1/2 minutes then say something like, “Well are you going to just whine about it or fix it?” Whoaaa…yes Mom! I’m on it! Haha! But she also had that calm, reassuring voice that just hit the right spot when she called me or I called her.

Mom was very appropriate. We kids needed to take care of our things, needed to help around the house, be polite, not dress like crap…care how we look, be respectful of others etc. Don’t argue in public or make fun of family members. Nobody’s business what happens in your house. But most people were like that years ago.

When Dad died she got depressed. I’m sure of it. The grandkids perked her up so very much. She would babysit for my brother and sister-in-law’s little ones. She had a way with kids anyway. Knew how to communicate with them, goof off with them, make them feel special. Those kids were lucky they had such a wonderful Busia (boo-sha…Polish for Grandma).

When she died, which was suspiciously 2 months before what would have been her and Dad’s 50th wedding anniversary (hmmm…did she plan that?), we kids started the task of cleaning out the house. That is when you really find out who your parents were, as I stated when writing about my Dad.

Mom loved flowers. She would spend hours in the garden. Our back yard was very beautiful. Seriously! I didn’t know she belonged to a garden club either until mail came for her, seeds, the day after she died. She had all kinds of flower doo-dads. In fact, we buried her in a flowered dress. And, her casket had flowers around the handles with a stitched flower inside the cover. Made for Mom.

Mom took care of us until the end as well. I always joke about the birthday gift she gave me and my sister one year. She bought us graves. Yes, graves. So we are all set!

I think about Mom especially now after this last (hopefully) surgery. She took care of me every day when I had the brain surgery 33 years ago. I think she is still taking care of me after this one too. Sometimes you just know.

What else can I say? It pays to have parents who deeply care about their kids. No one is perfect and things don’t always happen as one would want but the upshot is that the kids do remember the important moments/feelings with their parents. The deep love and caring. It makes us better humans. It makes us able to care for our own kids and others. It’s that deep connection that matters more than anything else.

So. Think about your own upbringing and parents. Where does that take you?

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