My late best friend/music bud Dr. Fred, or as he would tell his piano students, Docman G, died 2 years ago June 19. He was a devout Russian Orthodox Christian. He was also a master, brilliant musician/organist. We made great music together and were equally nuts…I still am nuts so not to worry. Ha!

In the Orthodox Church one celebrates/remembers the deceased by having an annual Memorial, a short service right at the end of the Divine Liturgy. A proper Memorial includes a wheatberry concoction called Kolyva. Wheat means life. We make it. It consists of cooked and dried wheatberries. We mix them with golden raisins, some pomegranate bits, slivered almonds and cinnamon. Those are the basics. People add some other things as well. Then you pack the mix into a tray which has been dolled up with paper doilies to beautify the arrangement. Sprinkle some bread crumbs lightly over the mix and put a good deal of powdered sugar over the top as the final ingredient. Pack that down and then add some decorations. Jordan Almonds are a must as well as some small silver pieces for adding the initials of the person. And a beautiful cross in the middle. Then try not to breathe so nothing gets goofed up before the Liturgy. Haha! Afterwards we mix it in a bowl and serve it to eat. It’s good! Mine is!

It’s a nicety and a so very proper one that we need to do for our loved ones in the Orthodox Church. It makes us feel like we are properly taking care of them even as they are now departed physically from us. Then we go about our lives.

I remember when Dr. Fred went into hospice care in the hospital. I had to play a wedding at my Church the next day. Ugh. However, I always remembered what Docman used to say. “When you have a job to do you put everything on the back burner and do your job. Period.” So I did. I put thoughts of him in the back of my mind and played well. That’s what musicians as well as other professional people do. We keep our pain to ourselves to help make another’s life event a happy one. And making music actually soothes our pain as well. I’ve mentioned that in another one of my posts. Music can be a medicine for what ails us in life as well as boost our joys.

I remember the times when Docman was ill and still had to sit on the organ bench for a big deal Christmas Eve service with full choir and brass as well. He would joke about not hearing the trumpet playing right by him since his right ear was plugged. Ha! And the many times he saw a chiropractor for numerous backaches. Playing with 2 arms and 2 legs sitting on an organ bench isn’t good for anyone’s back. It’s amazing what we all do when we are passionate about our work and absolutely need to do it for whatever reason (special occasion of any kind) so as to provide that service we are so good at and can make the occasion superb instead of just “a nice service.”

Every time I sit down to play I think about the inspiration I get from Docman to play as a pro and not let anything get in the way…including thoughts. Be who you are when you need to do that job. And, that takes me back to celebrating his departure into the next life with a special Memorial and Ev’s version of Kolyva. We need to celebrate people in our lives whether still with us or dearly departed.

That’s what we humans do. And with Docman G we get to make superb music as well. Yes!

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