So here I am blogging. And I sit here wondering about not only my unmarried state but un-relationship state and how long it’s been. Several years. Certainly nothing I intended.

Online dating has kinda’ been a turnoff for me since I really don’t like the whole process and people don’t really present themselves very well online. But it seems to be where everyone is. I had also joined a FB therapy group run by a professional therapist/dating mentor for a while. She’s good! She mentors people into finding what she calls a “phenomenal-fit partner.” And they do! But here’s the clincher…the price is several thousands of dollars to work with her. And I can’t even say right now how much money I’ve spent on dating services, videos, webinars, workshops, etc. For me the pricetag was not realistic. So again, here I sit. Still a bit lost. I’ve tried to put her five basic strategies to work for myself. I just question why this particular part of one’s life is so hard to realize? Why do some people find “the one” early on and others struggle for years? We’re confident, educated, have careers, and definitely won’t “settle.” But how does one plug that ever-so-important hole in one’s life…the hole that is so very important throughout one’s entire life? Deep-seeded intimacy.

Not only am I a professional musician getting through this pandemic but also studying makeup artistry by taking online classes. Another passion of mine…art. I’m an Avon Independent Sales Representative and love that type of artistry as well. I guess I’m one of those intended to bring beauty into the world both through music and physical art. These two personas of mine do fulfill a wonderful part of me that I love expressing to the world. Maybe this is the link that will bring in the love of my life. If one is not happy with one’s work or life in general then I would expect another person would not be attracted to you intimately. They would be attracted to the love and beauty you spew forth. Maybe that’s what I’ve been missing? Having retired from my regular job has allowed me to let this part of me, the REAL me full of music and art, break forth into the forefront instead sitting on the back burner.

So stay tuned. Eternal optimism. Still looking forward to the love of my life. Hopefully the true me will bring him in.